Monday, 1 September 2008

Today's in History

Photo courtesy of Ms. PeejBurhan
31st August 2008, for this stated date and for the first time in my life I went to “Solat Terawih”. I was so naïve about religion, not that I’m too bad about it, yeah… I admit, like I say I am naïve….I believe you, you and you are not that perfect too. As a human being everybody has their own principle, whether now or never. You decide!

At this moment I succeed to change myself to the next level, which I suppose to do it 30 years ago. It never too late for changes, and I am proud of myself. My mum always say “Pray is the Pillar of Religion” and I guess it’s true because I feel calm after do the praying.

I remember while I was young, I really really an idler to do praying. Even had been scold by my mum but I still refuse. (Setan menguasai diri) When my mum started yelling at me, know what I do? I will pretend go to the toilet like taking the “Air Sembahyang”, enter the room lock the door, lalalalalalalala……. And you know what happen? I was pretending and acting like I’m doing it. I was Sleeeeeeeping. Kuakuakuakua!!. My mum doesn’t know it until now. Shhh! My neighbourhood don’t tell my mum or I will be your worst nightmare neighborhoods that you ever known….hahahahahaha!

I’m not a good person neither bad actually. I am the naughtiest child in my family. I always break the rules. Once, I made my parents disappointed on me. I’m half way through to finish my degree in Software Engineering, but I quit or better to say F.A.I.L. Can you imagine how does they feel when found out their last hope of the family not succeed, and what other peoples will say about me. To mum and dad, no worries on me even though I’m not what you’re expected to be I’ll always wanted to make both of you proud of me in whatever manners.

Back to my old days, I used to wear a scarf before. Sometimes it is on and off and as to date I decided to not to wear. I want to be myself; I want to do whatever I wanted to. I don’t want a life that has been scheduled for me, I want to be free but at the same time I have to care others heart too. Even though I’m hypocrite, just follow my heart. People can say anything about me, I just don’t give a damn, and I know you’re not that good too. Am I?

For this holy month of Ramadhan, I wanted to make some changes to myself and as to date I’m half way through and may it lasting for ever. After this, I am waiting for my next move. God willing.

*Happy Blessing Ramadhan*


iNi DunIakU said...

changes should be made bit by bit..

it's good enuff that u noe ur mistakes and repent...

i do hope u'll changes that will lead u to ur creator...

My Spirit Finger said...

ini duniaku,

wah! saya teruja. I've got a reader. Actually, I don't have the intention that all my writings will be read by public.

I made this blogsphere as a place for me to express my feeling, my thoughts, my experiences n what so ever.

But it is good if we had someone who read and drop a comment on it. Sometimes we also need to hear other people opinions too.

Perhaps it will be a begining of a new relationship. Again, tq very much Ms. "ini duniaku". Me appreciated it